Day in the Life Winter 2017

Date:  Monday, February 13

Cast of Characters:  Mama Bear (37)
                                 Hubbs (37)
                                 Little Bastard (4)

7:00  Brian comes in to start a shower, and I drearily enter consciousness.  I must have drifted back to sleep after a yucky night of restless sleep.  Multiple wake-ups from all three of us, in spite of being completely exhausted.  Ugh.  What is it with this family and sleep?  Anyway, I'm grateful B let me snooze.  I peel myself out of bed, exchange good mornings with the hubbs, and find J sweating profusely to Wii tennis.  Wut?  Huh?  I can barely see straight, and I'm still fighting off those early morning puke waves of morning sickness.  But he is reeeeally into this tennis game.  Super happy and proud of himself.  "30 love Mama!"  "Deuce!"  "He's not going to get me now!"  Through all of this I sip coffee, eat cereal, scroll through Facebook for the morning news, and we see B off for the day.

7:30  I head to the bathroom to shower and paint the barn.  But on my way, I stumble upon a Facebook article about Tennessee trying to pass a bill, which would deem children conceived via reproductive technology as 'illegitimate.'  I find this hilariously ridiculous and post it to B's wall.  The comments start rolling in immediately, and I post another comment about JW being a bastard.  I am cracking myself up.  Me so funny.  But nonetheless, we are in a time crunch this morning, so I hurry up to get myself ready.  As I'm getting ready, JW is in and out of the bathroom with comments and questions, many about boxing.  I step into the loft to see him boxing via the Wii, and I cannot even fathom having his energy level.  He gets dressed, I admire how he's such an adorable little bastard, we pack up some food for the day, and head out to school.

9:00  We arrive at preschool, and today is a field trip day.  Sadly, I can't go with their class to the firehouse today because I have faculty meeting.  I really wish I could go with his class a) because I have always wanted to be one of those moms who's around and involved and b) the firehouse sounds super fun.  Sigh.  Anyway, I need to leave J's carseat at the school for this event.  I somehow heave-ho the carseat out with minimal sweating, no cussing, and only one broken nail.  Major success.  I drop off, chat with the teacher, say hi to some other moms, kiss my cutie pie, text Kaitlyn the pick-up plan for today, and head off to my school.  Through all of this, I'm trying not to puke.  During the drive, I notice that J's temporary tattoo is still on my arm, over a week later.  Geeesh!  Glad I will show up looking super classy today.  As I drive, I notice the gorgeous snow-capped mountains in the distance and live on the wild side to snap a photo while driving.  I hit some traffic, as usual.  And in the midst of stop n go, Meghan Trainor's 'I'm Going to Love You' song comes on the radio.  I have always adored this song, and my pregnancy hormones make me extra emo today.  I start belting it out, completely off-key.  Here come the feels.  And the tears.  Ack.  Laura, stop.  Your mascara isn't waterproof.  Pull it together.  My eyes are filled to the brim with tears, so I refuse to blink.  One blink, and there goes the mascara.  Hooooooolld it ... hold it.  Ok phew.  I think this wave of emo has passed.  But I suddenly remember a hilarious youtube video of a dog howling to Michael Jackson's 'Make the World a Better Place,' and I can no longer hang on.  Free flowing tears.  I make absolutely no sense, even to myself, and I am laughing/crying at how hormonal I am.  Shishkabobs.

10:00  I arrive at the ranch and do some damage control with my hot mess of a face.  Head inside.  Chat with Susan, who is so cute about my new bump.  The meeting eventually gets underway, and DD announces that he's going to keep our agenda and make sure we use our time efficiently.  Love it, but we'll see.  He starts out with his gratitude list, which I've always appreciated about him.  At the end of his list, he asks if anyone else has something to add.  My department colleagues all start nudging and encouraging me to speak up about the bump situation.  My heart starts pounding, and I feel my face flush.  Oh crap, hold it together Laura!  Ain't got no time for emo in the workplace!  I raise my hand and make the announcement that I'm grateful to have a new baby on the way.  The whole group applauds, and DD says something nice that I couldn't hear.   Susan snaps a pic of me during this, and I could just kiss her for capturing that moment.  I knew that I was going to announce it today, but I was expecting it to be at the end of the meeting, after I'd had time to hem and haw about what to say.  So this took me by surprise, and it's a delight.  The rest of the meeting is totally uneventful.  I catch up on emails, send out course announcements, and whisper with Susan.  By some miracle, we end on time.  Snap some pictures of our department (sans Robert and Anna) and then some girl pics.  I love these people.

11:00  It's time for our department meeting, but today we will meet individually with Tom to review our annual faculty portfolio evaluations.  The first department member gets started in Tom's office, and the rest of us just chat, waiting our turns.  We wait.  And wait.  Hmm.  This is taking much longer than expected.  We eventually get news that Tom's schedule changed, and he's left our evaluations on his desk for our signatures.  Excellent.  We all head upstairs to sign and leave.  Record timing for meetings today.  Hugs and goodbyes. 

11:30  Robbie and I have a lunch scheduled to talk all things DCT.  We head to Panera for our chat, and he kindly insists on buying my lunch.  So nice!  Everyone CBU and their mothers are at Panera, and it's a fun social hour.  We chat about clinical training issues and reminisce about Rosemead.  We eventually head back to the ranch and part ways.  I run a couple errands in the building and hit the road. 

1:30  I arrive home and find B is working away in his war shed.  We chat for a bit.  We relax.  Lounge.  Chat.  And then we talk about how I'll write up this portion of the blog, which is supposed to be completely G-rated and acceptable for all audiences to read.  Hmmmm.  Um, yeah, so we chatted, hee hee.

3:00  I walk up to Kaitlyn's to retrieve our little bastard child.  Talk with Anne and Kaitlyn and catch up.  They are both so cute, and I love that our families have bonded over Jonathan.  J and I head home, and he tells me all about the firehouse field trip.  He is so cute, and I just love how conversational he is.  Awww.  J is quite chatty at home, but we begin a project I've been dreading ...Valentine's cards for his class.  I had surprised myself by taking him to the store a few days ago to choose his box of Valentines, rather than wait until the morning of the 14th.  But now comes the hard part.  Having him write the name of each classmate on the tiny cards.  I am so tempted to just do it for him, but I resist.  I write a list of his classmates' names, and he surprisingly gets into the project with enthusiasm.  He's writing away.  It's completely illegible, but whatever.  We make it half-way through the class list, and he hits a wall.  Done.  Done diddly done.  I'm having waves of nausea, so we both need a break.

4:00  We head to Von's to get a Valentine's card for Brian.  There is lots more chatty stuff in the car, especially about the firehouse.  Once in Vons, he is so cute, wanting me to smell all the Valentines roses.  "Just pick one out for yourself Mama."  Oh, be still, my heart!  Maybe he will be a romantic someday.  We do pass up the roses, and we make our way to the cards.  It's a bit of a process, but we eventually settle on two cards for B -- one from him, one from me.  And while we're doing all this, I have the sinking realization that I suck as a mom.  I don't have anything for him!  WTF was I thinking?!  Damn it.  I don't want to make another special trip back here late tonight to get him something.  Crap.  I'm so tired.  And lazy.  But I want to make this holiday fun and special for him.  What the heck kind of awful mom would I be if I have him write all these cards for his classmates, choose a card for his dad, and then tomorrow morning am like "Surprise!  You get nothing!"  Shit.  What to do, what to do.  Ok.  He's still young enough that I might be able to sneak something into the cart without him noticing.  It's a risk.  But I'm exhausted.  And I do not want to come back here tonight.  Yes.  I'm going to try it.  We circle through the store, and he eyeballs a ninja turtle stuffed animal.  Perfect.  Bingo.  Now how to distract him.  I pull the whole "Hey JDub, look over there!"  Grab the turtle and hide it under my purse.  "What Mama?"  "Oh it's ok.  I thought there was something over there, but everything's fine.  Let's check out."  Success.  We head to the register, and everything continues as planned.  He's happily busy talking a mile a minute and also helping to unload the cart.  I ask him to step aside for a moment, and he cluelessly obliges.  I'm so close.  The teenage boy employee packs up the cart with the goods.  Almost there.  Sweet.  And then.  "Oh ma'am?"  Wait, wait, hold up.  That was his first mistake.  Ma'am?  How dare you.  It's Miss.  Or just nothing.  Ma'am is at least a decade older than where I'm at in life.  But whatever, I have a ninja turtle to hide.  Anyway, he follows up the ma'am mistake by exclaiming "Don't want to forget this!!!"  He dramatically hands over the ninja turtle, and Jonathan's jaw hits the floor.  Thanks.  We head to the car, and J is totally confused and somewhat mad about this whole turtle thing.  Surprise ruined.  I have to give it to him now.  There's no way I can make him wait for tomorrow.  So it looks like I'll be back at good ole Vons later tonight afterall.  Goodie goodie gumdrops.  But J is very happy about this new turtle, and we exchange sweet Valentines comments on the drive home.

5:00  As we walk in the house, B greets us and announces that "things just got worse."  He received notice from the IRS that not only are we getting audited, but so is his practice.  I try to assure him that it's good this is finally happening.  He's been worried about this for years, and now it's finally coming to pass.  It'll be a huge pain with added fees from the CPA, but there's nothing to hide or worry about.  He worries anyway.  B and J head upstairs for more Wii boxing while I prepare dinner and straighten the downstairs.  I'm getting really hungry, and I feel particularly yucky.  I don't think I'll actually throw up, but I need food in my belly.  Stat. 

5:30  The guys come down for dinner.  Pizza and salad.  J comes over to me with his orange sun glasses and says "now ... what to drink with dinner ... hmmm ... seems like a smoothie kind of night."  I crack up and don't know where he comes up with some of his lines.  But I agree that a smoothie does sound pretty good.  We add a berry/beet smoothie to the menu.  Eat and talk more about the firehouse field trip.  There are also lots of funny faces and pictures.  I'm laughing even though I'm feeling very sluggish and exhausted, which means it must be truly funny.  No energy to fake it right now.

6:00  B cleans up dinner and gets J started on his classmate Valentines project again.  I head back to good ole Vons so we won't be the worst parents alive tomorrow morning.  I am so tired right now, but I force myself to get in the car.  I arrive and have a fun surprise of running into two neighbors with their cute girl scout daughters, selling cookies at the entrance.  We chat about cookies, the baby, and our upcoming gender reveal party.  It's fun.  Through all of this, I'm eyeballing the cookies and decide it's completely necessary to purchase some.  Excellent.  Head inside and find some treats for our adorable little bastard Valentine.  It's a madhouse in there, and I'm glad I'm not the only one doing this last-minute shopping.

6:30  I'm back home and thankfully remember to keep the goodies in the car, lest my second attempt at a surprise is fouled.   Brian and JDub are laughing and having fun.  We head upstairs for teeth, books, bed.  Rather than extra books, I sneak Brian's cards into the book room.  J and I work on signing them, and he draws lots of lop-sided hearts and smiley faces.  He is so proud of himself, and it melts my heart.  He's so happy to have this little surprise up his sleeve for tomorrow.  And so am I.

7:00  B and I take turns folding a basket of laundry that had been sitting downstairs for two days.   We do our final nightly chats with our favorite little bastard.  Night night sweetheart.

7:30  Ahhh.  Best time of the day.  B and I sit down to relax.  Click on the latest Colbert and chuckle.  I write up this blog post, and he plays a game on his ipad.  We plow through a sleeve of those evil coconut girl scout cookies.  I catch up on texts with the girls.  Nikki assures me I missed nothing from the field trip because there wasn't a single cute firefighter.  Phew!  Dang, these blog posts take a lot of time.  I'm nauseous again.  Weee!   Colbert is done, so we switch to an old Office re-run, which is ironically a Valentines episode.  At some point in here, J wakes up in a screaming fit, a delightful phase we've been going through for about 3 months now.  Night terror stuff.  It kills me to hear him so upset and incomprehensible, but I'm also running low on energy and patience tonight.  B and I take turns trying to get him settled.  It takes extra effort tonight, which is heartbreaking and annoying.  I hope and pray he outgrows this soon.  But B has nightmares every.single.night.  Genetic?  Don't know.  Too tired to analyze.  Back to the blog write-up.

9:00  Finally finished.  B enthusiastically reads through this post, which I always love.  We chuckle and reminisce about the day.  I have been tired for many hours at this point, and I'm so happy I can finally crawl into bed.  I'm behind with my work now and have hours and hours of grading to do this week.  There are plenty of things around the house that need to be organized and put away.  But my heart is so full.  I love my guys.  And I'm glad we'll have a tiny little celebration of love in the morning.  And I love my life.  It's a good one, and I'm very glad I documented this fairly typical run-of-the-mill day.  One day I will look back on these details and have a Meghan Trainor moment, bawling my eyes out over what a sweet phase of life this was.  Happy Almost Valentine's Day!