Day in the Life Spring 2015

I was very tempted to skip this installment of Day in the Life, and I did miss the deadline for the blog round-up.  Life has not been great lately, as I'm grieving.  But I've kept thinking that one day I'll be glad I have this day to remember.  So with a burst of self-discipline, I busted out the yellow legal pad first thing this morning and declared it a DITL day.

Date:                April 24, 2015
Party People:    Laura (35)
                         Brian (35)
                         JDub (2 years, 11 months)
                         The Mutts (old and stinky)

5:50  Brian and I are both jolted from deep sleep to shrieks from the hallway: "My clock turned green, my clock turned green!!!"  I had a particularly rough day yesterday (actually the whole week sucked), so Brian kindly got up with Jonathan and let me snooze.

7:15  I must have really needed that snooze because I never sleep this late.  I roll out of bed, just in time for a certain mini human to barrel through the door.  "Mama, mama!  I broke this!  (a ball).  I broke it yesterday!  See?!  Yeah, it was awesome!"  Lots of chit chat as we walk downstairs.  Actually, JDub jumps down every step.  I get some coffee and join the guys in the living room for Paw Patrol.  JW offers me his blankie so sweetly -- "Here Mama, this one's for you.  It's dry."  We all chat and sing.  Eventually J gets in a little spat with Brian about his upcoming birthday: "No, I'm not turning 3 Daddy, I'm 2!!!  I'm twoooooo!!!" 

8:00  Brian brings me one of my favorite comfort foods -- buttered toast.  So simple.  So good.  Brian and JDub start wrestling (a new daily favorite), which leads to a pillow fight.  Jonathan is just beaming with glee and giggles.  "Do it again, Daddy!  Do it again, Daddy!"  "Haayyyaww!!  Hayaw!"  I love watching them and am so thankful Brian understands this type of testosterone-infused play.  I'm perfectly content to just sit here, so I don't really get the drive to ram/hit/bounce/chop/etc.  But I love watching them, and they crack me up.  Honey and I agree that it's a guy thing.  Eventually, J gets frustrated, but I'm not sure what it's about.  Brian gets it.  Guys.

9:00  We finally potty the dogs.  The poor beasts are seriously neglected lately.  I feel bad for them, especially because they're so forgiving and patient.  Still wagging their tails like normal.  Brian and I talk about what I can do with J this morning, and he convinces me that the trampoline park is a good idea.  I agree.  I text a neighbor to see about meeting there and start getting myself ready for the day.  J plays in the dirt and drives his car with the dogs.  B gets showered too and then heads out to his office.

10:00  JDub and I get in the car and head toward the trampoline park.  He is extra chatty in the car.  I smile and chuckle, but since I didn't write it down during the moment, I've forgotten what he was saying.  Darn!  We stop for gas at the most loathed gas station in America.  The engineers clearly did not consult with me when they designed the lay-out.  I despise this place.  I really do hate it, but my venomous hostility is probably due to all the grief.  Anyway, as I'm gassing up, J sees a Pommeranian sticking his head out of the window next to us.  "Look Mama!  It's a cat!"  I die laughing.  The dog is really cute and does some bouncing around in the car.  J loves this and squeels with laughter.  Simple pleasures.

10:30  We arrive at the bouncy place.  I try to find our neighbor, but no such luck.  There are mini humans everywhere.  They're running and chasing each other like ants.  And there are tons of moms on the sidelines, most of them either pregnant or with a baby in an ergo.  They're all chatting with one another.  I want to be like them.  I want to glamorously hold a venti Starbucks while I pat an ergo baby.  I want to have those "deep" conversations with other moms about life with two ... or life with three.  But I'm quickly reminded that I have more important (and maybe actually more fun?  if we're all being honest?) things to do.  "Jump with me, Mama!  Come and get me!"  I start chasing him, and we play a two year-old version of dodgeball.  JW's squeels are contagious, and I'm cracking up.  It's so fun to bounce!  But soon enough, other kids keep coming over to play with me (not Jonathan, the cute kid ... me, the 35 year-old crazy lady).  I'm pretty annoyed.  I smile and act nice, and I even throw balls for them.  But I'm thinking "Go get your Starbucks mom to play with you, kid!"  My attitude is abysmal these days.

We jump for a long time and then go into the foam block pit.  I kept my eye out for our neighbor, but we must have just kept missing each other.  Eventually, it's time to go.  I heave myself out of the block pit (way harder than it looks, people!).  I am sweating like a whore in church.  My hair feels like I just ran through a hurricane.  I'm sure I look terrifying, especially compared to all the "perfect" Starbucks moms on the sidelines.  Whatever.  Jonathan and I had a blast.

11:30  We head home.  J works on a baba while we drive but refuses the lunch I brought for him.  I don't really blame him.  I didn't realize we had run out of peanut butter, so I had smashed up some banana between two slices of bread and tried to convince him it was "a delicious nana sammie!!"  He didn't buy it.  Within seconds of polishing off his bottle, he asks "Do I have to stay awake, Mama?"  Umm, yes!  Yes indeed you do!  For most of the drive, he cries "I don't want to keep my eyes open!!  I don't waaaaannnnttt tooooooo!!!!!"  I repeatedly assure him that although it's really hard to keep your eyes open when you're sleepy, I know you can do it because you're such a strong boy!  He doesn't buy it.  But at least we make it home without sabatoging nap time.  Thank God.

12:00  Brian greets us at the door, and J explains "I was crying and screaming for my eyes, Daddy!"  I feel terrible that he hasn't had lunch, but he can barely keep his eyes open on Brian's shoulder.  They head upstairs for books.  I start the oven for our new obsession -- Papa Murphy's pizza.  Mmm!  Brian gets back downstairs, we chat about his practice, and we set up a war station.  It's my heavy grading weekend.  Fun times.  The pizza is amazing.  We eat and work and chat.  Brian gets to hear some of the ridiculous frantic last-minute end-of-the-semester student voicemails that come through.  His reactions crack me up.  These people, I tell ya.  I start doing a bit of grading, but I'm so not in the mood for it.  Blogging sounds much better.  So I write up what's happened so far today.  As usual for a DITL post, Jonathan has an extra long happy nappy.  I do not complain.  But I assure you, people, this is not normal!!

3:00  The handsome little guy finally wakes up.  We snuggle on the couch, and he likes scrolling through the day's photos.  "That's me!"  "That's me too!  Right there, Mama!  See?!"  He goes through several babas against my better judgment.  But life is short.  We watch some Pokoyo and have a random burping contest.  HAHA!!  I guess my masculine side is alive and well after all.  I convince J to have some pizza (veggie with spinach), and he retorts, "I don't want weeds on my pizza!"  Funny boy.

4:00  Brian is done with the work day.  Yay!!  B cracks open a red for me and gets one of his new fancy beers for himself.  J distributes all his blankies to each of us, including Teddy.  We sit on the patio as J runs through the yard with the dogs. The jasmine growing on the vine is in full bloom and smells like absolute heaven.  At some point, Brian starts a fire.  Jonathan runs through the yard collecting sticks for the fire and desperately wants to spray it out with the spray bottle.  He finally accepts that he can be a fireman when we're done with the fire.  I become completely obsessed with the gorgeous clouds and take a zillion pictures (with filters, obvs).  Somewhere in here while I'm filtering pictures, B takes a picture of me staring at my phone and IGs it.  Comments start rolling about how I've got my face stuffed in the phone while my child plays with fire.  HAHA!  I have priorities, people, I have priorities.

5:00  We decide a campfire breakfast sounds like a marvelous dinner.  So Brian cooks applewood smoked bacon in a cast iron skillet over the fire.  With eggs.  And potatoes.  Aside from the jasmine growing on the vine, I dare you to name a better smell than bacon sizzling over a campfire.  Wowzers!  Dinner is amazing, especially being outside.

6:00  JDub convinces us to let him be a fireman, so he goes to town spraying the fire with the spray bottle.  Loves every second of it.  Power.  Yes.  I head inside to do the dishes.  While I'm unloading the dishwasher, a wave of grief hits me.  I cry, and tears hit the clean plates.  I think about how much I love my life.  Who gets to do this?  Jump on a trampoline.  Do minimal work.  Have financial stability.  Play with the cutest kid in the world.  Have the best looking and most amazing husband in the world.  Eat dinner in a fabulous back yard.  Who?  I live the kind of life that most people only dream of.  I'm the most fortunate person I know (not to rub it in, but seriously).  There's not a day that goes by that I'm not consciously thankful for the amazing life I have.  And yet my heart aches.  How could 2 more rounds of IVF fail?  How could God create all those embryos and then just kill them?  Why can "everyone else" have as many kids as they want?  But I can't.  My heart still longs for more.  What's wrong with me?  Why can I not be content having an only child?  I wish I could simply be happy with the my awesome life and just move past all the IVF failures.  But I want more kids.  I probably always will.  I'll probably be an 80 year-old lady someday, dreaming about how it would have been so fun to have a big family with big family gatherings and holidays.  And lots of grandchildren.  It's just in me.  I want more.  But I can't have more.

6:30  My pity party is interrupted by an adorable toddler barging through the door proclaiming "I went pee in the bushes, Mama!!" Ha!  Wipe my tears and laugh.  We settle on the couch with a baba, cartoon, and computers.  Daniel Tiger on the iPad for J.  Work emails for B.  Blog catch-up for me.  JDub randomly declares, "I smell like ME!"  We all die laughing.

7:15  Toofie-brushing time.  And B wants to read through the blog so far.  We sit together and read what I've written so far.  He takes delight in all of it, but he especially cracks up at the 'sweating like a whore in church' line.  We have a sentimental moment about my grief.  J insists on another wrestle mania fest with Daddy, and he tries to go all WWF UFC with jumps and freaking leaps.  He is completely pissed off when it must be paused for jammies.  He chooses Mama for bedtime books and blows Daddy kisses through his wails up the stairs.  Totes adorbs.  We read a couple books and recap the day.  Sweet boy.  I adore him.  Night night, precious little miracle.

8:00  Freedom!  Brian is sprawled out on the couch.  I ask him what he wants to watch tonight, and he responds with "Hmm.  Well, whatever we watch will be logged into blogger infinity.  So ..."  I tell him that I'm absolutely quoting that in the blog, and we crack up.  We settle on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.  Mildly funny.  Brian falls asleep snuggling my arm, and we both get kinks.  It's worth it.

9:00  Potty the dogs and lock up.  Head to bed.  I'm glad (as always) that I documented this day.  I know I'll be happy to have this treasure, and it's always a great reminder of how much joy is packed into the mundane details of life.  The days go by so fast that I forget so much.  But these quarterly posts help me remember how the little nuances and how wonderful they are.  My heart is broken right now, but I have hope that it will eventually heal.  And my life is truly great.  I go to bed feeling thankful.

Day in the Life Winter 2015

I know everyone always starts these posts with the same thing, but whatever.  It's true.  I can't believe it's already time for Day in the Life!  I've been looking forward to doing this again, and I'm again so happy I did it.  I haven't documented a work-at-the-office day yet, so I had planned ahead and marked this day as a good one for the quarterly blog.

Date:       January 21, 2015
Key Playas:
                 Laura (35 years old)
                 Brian (35 years old)
                 Jonathan (2 years, 8 months)
                 Teddy (8 years, 4 month)
                 Honey (7 years, 11 months)

7:25  I am taking the first sip of my second cup of coffee when it hits me.  Day in the Life!  Crap!  I had been thinking about this all week, and then of course I forgot to start out the day with any documentation.  Brian chuckles at me as I run upstairs for my notepad.  I spend a few minutes back-tracking.

5:15  JDub is crying for "Daddy Daddy Daaaadddddyyyyy!!!!!"  I go in to be the enforcer and let him know it's not quite time to get up yet.  Full-on tantrum ensues.  Goodie goodie gumdrops.  But I eventually get him settled, and he snoozes for a while.  Of course, I'm wide awake now, but I enjoy the peace and quiet of a nice warm bed while I have the opportunity.

6:20  JDub is up again, so we all head downstairs.  Brian and I sip on coffee.  J has a baba.  Brian had decided to ditch his networking meeting this morning, so he nervously chuckles at how he'll probably get in trouble.  I would feel the same way if it were me, and I laugh at what oldest children we are.  We scroll through my phone pictures from our Disney trip yesterday.  J proudly describes his experience with Buzz Lightyear.  B and I chat about how crazy it is for a kid to grow up having play dates at Disney.  What the?  We also talk about the measles outbreak at Disney and the whole vaccination controversy.

7:00  I watch an episode of my daily devotional (the Duggars) -- if Michelle can be patient with 19, then surely I can be patient with 1.  JDub is in a great mood through all of this.  We have cereal, and J asks for "special treat please?"  Yeah, as if Disney wasn't a special treat, kid?  Who are you?  So I make him toast with butter and "special" granola.  Ahh, simple pleasures. Oh, and Honey seems to need extra pets this morning.  I oblige since I'm feeling bad about all her lumpie bumpies that have popped up so suddenly.  Gurl.

7:50  Enough lounging around.  I make my to-do list.  Brian "commutes" to his office, and I clean up the kitchen.

8:15  I do my typical daily chores while blasting Pandora's Disney station.  Good stuff.  J happily plays with his new Smokey toy from Ryan and makes loud bursts of exclamations about it.  "I'm coming to get you Mama!"  "I rescue you!"  "No Mama, no!  Move Mama!"  "I do it myself!"  Yes sir!  He also begs for more Buzz Lightyear.  "Can I shoot Buzz again, Mama?  Please?"   He eventually starts tormenting the dogs with a squeaky alligator, and I head upstairs for a few chores and to get myself dressed.  Brian later informs me that Teddy had the last laugh on that one, as he ripped the head off the gator.

9:00  I come downstairs and find J is playing in Brian's office.  I stroll out there and see he's having a blast with a power surge protector.  Teddy wants in on the fun.  I head back inside to prepare the stroller for our daily ritual.  As I'm loading it up, I notice JDub is pouring water into an apple container.  I shoo him outside as he explains "I'm doing a tea party, Mama!"

9:15  We're all set for our strollie ride, but we notice Maddie is playing out front.  JDub wants to play, which sounds like a fun idea.  We get a couple bikes and cars from the back and bring them around front.  I cruise the cul-de-sac on my cruiser, and JDub and Maddie happily swap toys.  Eventually J gets pissed that "My car is broken, my car is broken!" when he can't get it up over the lip of the driveway.  My cue for the strollie ride.

9:40  We take off, hitting the pavement.  J snacks, and it's peacefully quiet.  We head up the hill toward the clubhouse because I want to ask them about doing a neighborhood garage sale.  On the way, I pick random dandelions for J to blow, which he finds hilarious.  I don't know if the neighbors will find this as hilarious when those seeds get rooted, but I'm selfishly enjoying this entertainment.  We arrive at the clubhouse, but they don't open today until 11:00.

10:00  JDub notices the beach volleyball court and asks to "go to the beach."  I figure why not.  We truck down there, and he decides to collect all the random pine cones.  He builds a "pine cone castle" and we organize the rows of cones.  Just as we're about to head back to the stroller, he kicks them all to pieces.  "I crash them!!"  I wouldn't have thought of that, but ok.   I take a bunch of pictures and adore the colors.  On our way back home, we find a couple enormous leaf/feather things that he waves crazily like wings.  Silly boy.

10:45  We arrive back home, and Brian greets us at the door.  J jumps into his arms and demands "Upside down, Daddy!  Upside down!"  They wrestle for a few minutes while I start preparing lunch.  Girl be hungry early today.  I make my version of a Thai salad -- red and green cabbage, carrots, red bell pepper, baby corn, bamboo, peanuts, and cilantro.  I'm obsessed with this new Thai paste, and I'm not surprised the dressing is unbelievable.

11:10  Brian grabs a plate but has to multitask in his office.  Busy day before leaving tomorrow for a conference.  I decide to eat mine right out of the salad bowl to save a plate.  J is overdue for a bath and probably extra disgusting from Disney yesterday, so I declare this to be a lunchtime/bathtime.  He happily jumps in.  Eats his salad.  Drops quite a bit in the tub, which would have sent shivers down my spine before motherhood.  Now I think nothing of it.  He vrooms a few cars and wants me to "catch it with TWO hands, Mama!"  As I continue eating my salad, I notice a pause of silence.  I look up at JDub, who calmly states "I don't want to go dump in da baffers."  Gawd!  Good thinking!  Let's get this show on the road, so we don't end up with THAT!  Quickly wash hair and get him out.

11:45  Jonathan says he's ready for books, and Lord knows I would never ignore that request.  We head to his room.  We work on an I Spy book, and he gets about 50% of them.  I have fun with it too.  We chat about the morning, and I talk with him about how he'll play with Quakin, Ryan, and Kenzie while I'll be at school later.  It looks like he's got wheels turning, which makes me feel guilty about leaving.  But he's ok and happily exclaims, "I play with Ryan!"  I reflect on my guilt for a moment.  I'm amazed that I've been doing this for 2.5 years now, and I still feel bittersweet about going into the office.  I'm ready to go.  I haven't been there in a week.  I'm due for the change of scenery and responsibility, and I'm looking forward to it.  Yet I worry that I'm damaging this precious boy.  With rational thought, I know that's absurd and ridiculous.  But I worry and hope he's fine, not wondering where I am or missing me.  Oh, parenthood.  You be cray cray.  I give him lots of hugs and kisses and put him in his crib.  As I'm standing at the doorway, he reaches for a pocky with his foot.  He grabs it with his toes and brings it up to his hands, and he says "Thank you, foot."  I die laughing.  Night night, funny sweetheart.

12:00  I straighten the downstairs again and then go out to chat with Brian in his office.  He did get scolded for not attending his meeting this morning, and we laugh about it.  There are also multiple texts coming in from the girls because there's some new work drama.  We text back and forth about it, and then I head upstairs to get myself ready for the day.

1:00  I realize I haven't gotten any pictures of myself today, so I opt for a selfie.  I pack up my work things, including a dinner for tonight, which I always hate doing.  While I'm organizing food, I decide a snack is a good idea.  One would probably assume some pregnancy hormones were involved in the selection of this snack, but I assure you that is not the case.  Peanut butter on a pickle.  You're welcome.  I text Brian that I'm about to leave, hoping to have one more quick moment with him.  But he writes back that he's on the phone with a client.  Busy day.

1:20  I get rolling.  I go up to the clubhouse on my way out and talk with a manager about my neighborhood garage sale idea.  I anticipated it would have to go through 45 board meetings and 8 layers of approval, but she happily chooses a date and marks the calendar.  She says she'll take care of the details if I can post something to the neighborhood Facebook page.  Deal!  I'm shocked at how easy that was and hit the road.

2:10  I'm in my office at "The Ranch."  I take care of email and snail mail.  I chat with the student worker for a few minutes.

2:40  I review my materials for tonight and am thankful my prep is so light this semester.  I've already taught these courses several times, so it's great to have everything ready to go.  At some point in here, Josh stops by, and we chat for a few minutes.  The girls and I continue to text back and forth, plotting and planning about the drama, muah hah hah.  Brian also texts about some of his work drama.  Geesh!  He forwards me a voicemail, and I'm completely dumbfounded.  I'm supposed to be an expert in human behavior.  Yeah right.  I have no idea what's wrong with some people.  Wtf?  And ugh.

4:00  I should definitely be working on my proposal, but I'd much rather write something fun like this blog post.  Yep.  That's a great idea.  Sit down to start drafting this post.

5:00  All caught up with this post, and I'm again amazed at how much time these things require.  I have admiration and confusion about how people blog so much all the time.  How?  Anyway, I scroll back through it with smiles.  I decide to get some other "work" done.  I post the Facebook info about the neighborhood garage sale, which sends my phone into an explosion of notifications.  I confirm a play date with a friend for tomorrow morning.  And I message another friend about scheduling a play date for next week.

5:15  I am not really hungry, but I realize I'm running out of time.  I heat up my soup -- leftover Thai soup with shrimp.  I'm clearly digging the Thai thing lately.  And since I'm not really hungry, it makes perfect sense to grab some cheap-O crap-O candy from the kitchen.  Yes, perfect sense.

5:25  I FaceTime Brian to squeeze in a quick chat with my guys, and Brian picks up with "I'm having severe time management issues."  I learn he is running 25 minutes late for Kaitlyn.  He calls me back a few minutes later with JDub, who is very crabby because he's probably starving.  He is pulling canned food out of the pantry and trying to make Honey eat it, and he won't have much to do with me.  We hang up to deal with food issues.

5:45  I call back.  Partially to try squeezing in a hello with JDub because I miss him.  And partially to check and make sure things are running smoother now.  Things are fine-ish, but J isn't really in the mood to chat.  I have to deliberately tell myself that it's nothing to take personally about being at work -- he's just crabby and hungry and doesn't feel like chatting.  No biggie.  Ah, motherhood.  Why the head trips?  B and I chat for a minute, and I grab this screen shot.  I know he'll kill me for posting this, but hehehehe.

5:50  I chat with a colleague for a quick second and then head downstairs.  Students are trickling in, and I get my computer set up.  I chit chat with them.

6:00  First class starts -- Professional Practice Seminar I.  The newbies.  The topic for tonight is confidentiality.  Since I don't want to overlap too much with the law & ethics class, I focus more on the spirit of the law related to confidentiality.  We go through a few power point slides, but we mostly discuss some vignettes.  The students are engaged and have thoughtful comments, so the time flies.  I love the enthusiasm of first-year graduate students.

7:45  Time for a break.  I check my phone, and Brian has sent this text: " ' I'm waiting for Mama.' -- JDub."  Oh, my heart!  As much as I enjoy my work, my heart is most definitely with my guys.  I just want to run home to hug him, especially since it's bedtime.  So I call.  His voice is so sweet over the phone.  We chat for just a minute, and there are lots of "love you" and "wuv you" comments.   Night night, sweet boy.

8:00  Second class starts -- CBT Techniques.  The topic for tonight is thought records.  Usually, this class drags on and on, and I typically start checking the time at 8:30.  Ugh.  But tonight, it flies just like the first one.  We go through a power point presentation, and then I walk them through a thought record using a vignette.  They're all engaged, and seem to be eating it up.  I actually have to rush during the last few minutes to squeeze in the final points.

9:50  All done.  Everyone says goodnight and leaves.  As I'm packing up, a student comes to tell me she used the technique from last week with her psychotic inpatients, and it worked like a charm.  I was delighted to hear this because I love seeing new therapists gain confidence in the techniques.  We have fun chatting for a minute, and then several folks from the class next door join us in all walking out.  I chat with Tom on the way to the parking lot.

10:25  I'm home.  It's dark and quiet in the house, and of course I promptly drop my 10-pound water bottle on the floor.  Bam!  I wait for the after-effects, but I hear not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.  Thank God.  I potty the dogs, fix myself some hot tea, and change clothes.  I would like to just head to bed right now, but I figure I might as well finish this blog post while it's still fresh on my mind.  Plus, we'll have a crazy busy day tomorrow, so I don't want to cram this blogging thing into tomorrow.  I sit down to finish the evening's happenings while I sip on my cinnamon tea. 

11:00  All done.  I scroll back through the post with smiles.  I am so glad I finally started doing this, and I'm looking forward to reading the round-up.  I feel grateful for my little family.  It's smaller than what I would have chosen, but I love these guys.  Heck, I even love the dogs too.  These blog posts get me all sappy every time. 

11:30  I leave my half-drunken tea with my computer and go peek on J.  He's so cute, lightly snoring.  I then head to a nice comfy bed with my love and two giant beasts snoring downstairs.  My life.  I like it.